SwankMama: dear lil j: my crush

Dear Lil J,

I'm sorry if I got frustrated with you easily tonight. It seems that after a long week of work, my sleep deprived mind only shuts on the "adult" part of my brain and I forget that you are just a kid trying to figure things out. It must be frustrating for you when you're trying to tell me something and I don't quite understand what you're saying, and can't help you right away. I always kick myself {not literally!} when I realize how silly I'm acting in the moment. And, I always feel guilty in the few seconds after I get frustrated.

Take tonight for instance. Mommy was super tired {and still am} and all she wanted to do was sleep. All you wanted to do was talk and jump around the bed. When I turned off the light, you got mad. When I turned it on, you wanted your milk. When I gave you your milk, you started bawling and screaming some incomprehensive word over and over again. I couldn't understand you so I turned off the lights. Then we went through the cycle again and I still couldn't understand you. Finally, I listened harder as you gestured to your sippy cup that you wanted me to unscrew the lid or "open" it. But why didn't you just tell me "open" in the first place? It's one of the words you use frequently and you know the meaning of it. Then I looked at the time and realized that it was way past your bedtime and you were probably just as overtired as I was.

When you were done your milk, you told me "light off". I turned the light off and you crawled on top of me and we hugged and kissed {with sound effects}. This made you giggle {and made Mommy feel so guilty for being frustrated} so I did it again. Then you joined in with your own sound effects as we both squeezed each other and yelled "Mmmmmmmmmm". Every time we squeezed each other, we burst out in crazy giggles and laughter. It was so contagious. You made me feel like a kid again. Then I told you I loved you. And you said:

"Luhl luu too too Mama nigh nigh"

Which means "Love you too too Mama. Night night!". And I got soooooo giddy like a first crush. You totally made my night and the bedtime struggle was all worth it.

And to top it off, I decided to put you in your crib while you were still awake and you put yourself to sleep with no screaming, no crying. Yay baby!!

Sweet dreams babydoll.