Take last night for example. I had just put Lil J to bed and went to the washroom to take a shower. Just as I was jumping in the shower, Miss S knocked on the door asking if she could use the washroom. I told her I had just gotten in the shower and she knows that I don't take that long. My husband, on the the other hand, can take up to two hours in the washroom. It's a known fact.
The problem with our situation is that we are currently a family of four with only one washroom. Yup, you heard that right. One washroom. Miss S is a tween going on 16 so you know what that means. At least two washrooms are needed in this household.
Anyways, my husband questioned why I hadn't unlocked the door while I was in the shower so that Miss S could use the washroom. First of all, I was in the shower. Secondly, I've unlocked the door before and she didn't want to go while I was in the washroom {understandably so} because she obviously wanted her privacy. Lastly, I take pride in my showers. It's the only peaceful alone time I have to myself in the day where I can sort of just relax. It's my me time. So I'm sorry that I refuse to share the washroom with Miss S but I feel like I have the right to 10 minutes alone.
Then my husband brings up the fact that he always unlocks the door for me while he's in the shower so I can use the toilet. Ummm...duh....I'm pregnant - in case you haven't noticed. Miss S isn't. Plus did I mention he takes 1-2 hours in the washroom? A pregnant woman cannot wait that long.
And, no, Miss S never uses the toilet while he's in the shower. That's kind of wrong.
This isn't the first time my husband has gotten all huffy about something he thought I had done to Miss S because of my apparent dislike towards her. One time I had washed all the white towels and left her towel {which was a dark colour, by the way} because 1) it wouldn't fit in the wash and 2) I don't mix my whites and darks. He didn't seem to notice all the other dark coloured towels still hanging in the washroom. Good lord.
I was just offended, once again, by my husband's comments. If I didn't care for his daughter or if I had a problem with her, I wouldn't be with him let alone factoring her needs in our plans to have children {I didn't want there to be a huge age gap between Miss S and her siblings - if I could help it}, consistently nagging her about her homework, etc etc. If I truly didn't care for his daughter, I just wouldn't care. Period.
I think the reason why I'm so offended is because I've helped him raise her for the past 6 years. She lives with us full-time and I feel like any kid that lives in our household has to live under our rules.
Do you think my husband was overreacting? Do you think I'm overreacting?
Why don't you ask her? She seems like a mature tween...maybe she will tell you that she was hurt or maybe that she thought it was no big deal?
ReplyDeleteShe's mature in some ways and other ways not. It wasn't her that was hurt - it was my hubby making a big deal out of nothing. There are some underlying issues but Miss S is old enough not to be sheltered anymore. Not sure if this makes sense but hopefully one day I'll be able to share our full story :)
DeleteI believe that your hubby was overreacting. Feels a bit weird telling you, but thought it might make you feel better. I have a 17 yr old daughter who needs to use the bathroom every single time I'm in there no matter what time it is, so I can semi relate. Also my hubby is the stepdad to 2 out of my 3 kids, so situations always arise around here with parenting. Not easy, but you seem like your doing a terrific job :))
ReplyDeletePaula
lifeasweknowitbypaula.blogspot.com
Hi Paula,
DeleteThanks for your comment and encouragement. I always thought I handled raising her well but ever since our son has come in the picture, I notice my hubby has been a little more sensitive. It could be because I'm tightening my reins as she gets older {I'm the stricter one and he's the more lenient one}, but I am also quite strict with our son. To define how I deal with both kids varies because there is a 9 1/2 year age difference.
I think kids need structure and consistency, and that's what I'm trying to give her.
Being a step-parent brings so many different emotions to the table - it's unbelievable!
Anyways, everything was back to normal last night. It could also be my preggo hormones going completely out of whack too :)
Kristina