i did a bad, bad thing

A few days ago I did something real bad.  I blamed my son for something he didn't do and I punished him.

He was so upset, he thew himself to the ground in a corner and cried.  All of this happened within 5 minutes and I have never felt so bad in my entire life.  Bad, bad Mommy.

It all started when I went into the kitchen and smelled a funny citrus-y scent.  I looked down on the ground to find a trail of liquid that looked like pee but smelled lemon-y.  I asked Lil J why he spilled the liquid and asked him if it was the lemon concentrate in the fridge.  He said yes and then I asked him again why he would do such a thing.  He told me that it was his sister, Miss S, which would be virtually impossible since she was gone for the weekend.  Then he said it was Daddy, which was also impossible because he was still sleeping.

I could feel some anger boiling up inside me - half because he was lying once again and half because I was cleaning up yet another never-ending liquid mess.  Half a paper towel roll later, I thought I was finished.  I told Lil J that he was not allowed to watch TV for the rest of the day and hubby came out a few seconds later reinforcing the punishment and adding that the iPad was also off limits.  Two of Lil J's favourite things.  Sad and frustrated, Lil J ran to the living room and buried his face in a corner, sobbing.

While both my hubby and I wondered why a toddler Lil J would do such a thing {surprise!}, I noticed some murky yellow liquid making its way back onto the kitchen floor.  What the heck?  It definitely was the same liquid I had just cleaned up and the culprit definitely wasn't Lil J.  It was me!  I had moved a few things about half an hour beforehand and remembered that we had two Costco-sized, brand-new lemon concentrate bottles on the floor.  Plus they had never been opened before so why was one leaking?

I almost started bawling when I quickly realized it wasn't Lil J who made the mess and I quickly scooped him up and showered him with hugs and kisses.  Squeezing him close, I told him over and over again that I was "so sorry" and that "Mommy made a big mistake.  Mommy did it, not you".

And you know what he said?

"It's okay Mommy".

Talk about making me feel even worse.

This was definitely a lesson learned.  Toddlers know how to express themselves but may not know how to do so properly - even at 3 years old.  They lie, they tell the truth, they make messes and they don't.  And, yes, my son is the ultimate charmer - telling me over and over that "it's okay Mommy".

Heart.  Melting.