Last year after our blog was recognized as one of the Top 30 Vancouver Mom Bloggers of 2012 by Vancouvermom.ca, I never would have imagined that this humbling recognition would have connected me to such a diverse group of inspirational, outspoken, smart and intelligent women - who all continue to help support me through my blogging journey. The relationships that have blossomed out of this very small, but powerful, group has given me new-found faith that we, as women, can pass along these positive values to our own kids.
When I think about the kind of mother I want to be for my children, I find myself looking at the real people in my life - the ones with the positive attitudes, values and influences. The ones that don't judge and the ones who enjoy life. The ones that display compassion and the ones that aren't afraid to right a wrong. I look at these combined attributes and try to incorporate them into my parenting style, so that I can leave a lasting impression on my children.
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| My babies - Lil J & Baby Z |
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| Our modern family |
My family dynamic is a little different and unconventional than your traditional family - in fact, it could probably be classified as a modern family. I have a 3 1/2 year old son and an 8 month old daughter, as well as an almost 13 year old step-daughter who lives with us full-time. The age differences and the fact that I'm a step-mom definitely makes for an interesting home, which is why I've decided to split up my post into "The Mother I Strive To Be" and "The Stepmother I Strive To Be":
The Mother I Strive To Be
- I hope to be patient with my kids, but not too patient so that they'll walk all over me.
- I want my kids to be able to make their own decisions, but also feel like they can come to me when they need answers.
- I want to teach my kids to enjoy life, to not take everything so seriously and to be spontaneous. I also want them to know when to be grounded, when to take things seriously and when to think before they act.
- I hope to teach them how to be respectful and use their proper manners. Thanks to my son, I see now that kids are prone to repeat words, phrases and sentences that they hear in their everyday lives - pretty much anything that comes out of Mommy or Daddy's mouths. I now realize that I really have to watch what I say and
tryto practice what I preach. - I want to be a mother first and a friend second. I am not your best friend, but a friend that you can talk to when you need to. Don't get that twisted. I'm still your mom.
The Stepmother I Strive To Be
- Although I am not her birth mother, I hope that my step-daughter will look up to me as a parenting figure in her life.
- I hope to set a good example of a strong woman, so that she will one day be one herself.
- I hope that she will continue to respect me throughout her teenage years {give me strength!} and feel comfortable enough to come to me when she needs me.
- I don't ever want to overshadow her own mother. I am there to help guide her through life and to give her stability.
- I hope that she feels that I don't ever treat her any different than I treat my own children. There's a fine line between motherhood and step-motherhood, and although at times it can be difficult for myself to distinguish that line, I don't want her to ever feel left out. We are a family unit and we're totally in it together.
What kind of mother do you strive to be?
Don't forget to check out the posts from ten of Vancouver's top mom bloggers and see what kind of mother they strive to be:
Tuesday, Jan 22 – Tairalyn from Little Miss Mama
Wednesday, Jan 23 – Melissa from The Thirites Grind
Thursday, Jan 24 – Amy from The Connection We Share
Friday, Jan 25 – Julie from JulieNowell.com
Wednesday, Jan 23 – Melissa from The Thirites Grind
Thursday, Jan 24 – Amy from The Connection We Share
Friday, Jan 25 – Julie from JulieNowell.com
Monday, Jan 28 – Eschelle from Mumfection
Tuesday, Jan 29 – Taslim from Let ME out!!
Wednesday, Jan 30 – Katie from World by Smith
Thursday, Jan 31 – Lori from The Write Mama
Monday, Feb 4 – Brandee from One Crazy Kid
Tuesday, Feb 5 – Jessica from North Shore Mama
omg language in my house is so hard!!! I feel for you on #4. My hubby and I have potty mouths... thankfully eldest took that as a que to create "his words" since some of mommy and daddy's words he wasn't allowed to say. Needless to say we were not allowed to say "his words" either. It was a point in creativity for my kiddo, followed the rules AND created a rule for mom and dad lol! All of a sudden we were equals lol!!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, if my mother-in-law hears this one particular word that Lil J learned from my hubby {a Jamaican swear word}, she will flip! And I will laugh haha.
DeleteI love love love that you included the step-mother you want to be! I have a stepmom and I couldn't imagaine my world without her.
ReplyDeleteThanks Amy! I hope I'm being a good stepmom and not a step-monster!
DeleteFirst of all, your family is GORGEOUS! Second of all, I didn't start swearing until I had children; I think the first time my dad heard my 2 year old say "oh sh*t" he almost fell over. :) Your children, all 3 of them, are very lucky to have you in their life. Each of the points you made above, in both sections, are thoughtful and beautiful.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, your family is GORGEOUS! Second of all, I didn't start swearing until I had children; I think the first time my dad heard my 2 year old say "oh sh*t" he almost fell over. :) Your children, all 3 of them, are very lucky to have you in their life. Each of the points you made above, in both sections, are thoughtful and beautiful.
ReplyDelete